breakingthemold's Datingish

Normal Life - Song and Snapped!

Thu, 11 Mar 2010 19:18:16 GMT

I am currently loving Michael Buble’s song “Haven’t Met You Yet.” It’s just so amazing and so true. I haven’t yet met that guy who I’m willing to give my all to again. Burned the first time, scared to let it happen again. But isn’t that part of life? Taking a flying leap and risking all you have. You may get hurt, but you may find you fall exactly into where you were always supposed to be. The thing about getting hurt is picking yourself back up and realizing you may be a bit bruised up, but you did see the world in a new way, and learned where not to fly next time.

I totally almost snapped at my RA this morning. Getting demerits for having a single hair in the bathroom really stretched my patience and grace to new limits. But I didn’t snap! Just got stretched a little farther than I wanted. Let’s hope they don’t do anything else to stretch me even farther cause no promises on the next time!

Datingish - Contradicting First Impressions

Thu, 11 Mar 2010 19:17:25 GMT

Yesterday I had an interesting conversation with a guy I’ve just met. He’s cool, laidback, will be a friend, but not boyfriend material. Anyway, we were talking yesterday and he made the comment how he enjoyed the “connection” we had and how much he surprisingly able to relate to me on a different wavelength than everyone else, ladeda. (hold comments on the sappiness and his real motives behind it, we just met a few weeks ago so of course I’m being cynical. I’m saving that for another post.)

Anyway, the point I’m making is that he was so surprised we got along. On the outward appearance I look like your quiet, meek, mild, innocent church girl. People quickly realize though most of the time that I’m not. My past is definitely not the most innocent and while I have my quiet moments (I lean toward being introverted) I am certainly loud and teasing of a frequent basis. Many other people have made the same comments about me though. It actually intrigues the guys more because they realize their first impressions were wrong and they’re curious as to who I “really am.” That is… if they stay around long enough to realize their mistake.

Have you ever had an experience like this? Where your first impression was so grossly wrong and you realized you judged to quickly? How often do you make concrete decisions about someone based on your first impression and leave/stay?

Back Among the Living!

Thu, 11 Mar 2010 19:09:29 GMT

Ok I know I haven’t been on here in a while, but I’m in the mood to start blogging again. I’ll use this as half a Datingish blog, half just normal life. Scary ain’t it?

Brief intro for those who don’t me. I go by Rae and am your atypical college student. I used to be a music student, got my degree in that, and then moved to a deaf college. Yes you read that right. I go to college where currently there are two other students besides myself are hearing. It has it’s pros and cons, but I honestly love it for the most part. With my music my focus was piano and secondary voice. I love musical theater and used to be apart of my college performances regurlary and seriously miss it now. For the deaf side of me, I’m fluent in American Sign Language and want to be involved with Deaf ministry and work for the rest of my life. Somehow mixing that with music, yeh you try to figure that out too. For my blogging, I love writing and would’ve loved a career in journalism, but alas, other plans happened.

For those who knew me before when I was active, a lot of things have changed in my life so give me the benefit of the doubt on some things ok? You know what I'm talking about.

First Relationships Lasting?

Sun, 24 May 2009 02:18:23 GMT

"It's not going to work."

I looked at my old youth pastor and wondered what gave him that confidence. We were talking about a college guy in the church who had recently started his first real relationship. Of course the guy was all into the relationship and was already planning on marrying the girl in the future. Our old youth pastor wasn't as convinced though because, "Everyone has their heart broken at least once. It takes the first relationship to realize what you like and don't. I know ______ is excited about the relationship now, but eventually it's going to break off and he's going to have his heart broken, but he'll come out the stronger because of it."

This got me thinking, what he said was true for at least my case. I was very into my first real relationship, but when it broke off, it helped me realize what I needed in a guy and what I didn't. With all my friend's its been the same.

But then again I've seen couples who haven't dated at all before their life partner and from all view points the relationship seems strong and healthy.

What are the chances of your first relationship lasting for a lifetime?

A Flirting Politician, How Can You Tell?

Sun, 26 Apr 2009 20:51:42 GMT

For weeks I've walked around campus seeing various flyers for the candidates running for positions in student government. President, Vice President, Representative, Andrew, Nathaniel, Catherine, etc... Eventually the names run all together right? Until they come to life...

"Hi, my name is _______." I look up into a talking poster. Ok not really, but a face that has been plastered across the walls recently was now standing in front of me, talking. The conversation was short, but he seemed a nice enough guy. I invited him to a student organization meeting a few days later and he said he'd come but I seriously doubted it. I mean elections are a week away, of course he had to say he'd come right?

But he did! We ended up talking for an hour after the meeting ended and I kept thinking, "Wow he really is a nice guy." But that is when reality hit... I was totally being campaigned.

Elections were in less than a week at that time, and I was involved in a department he had never touched really before with campaigning. My "duh" moment of why he was being so nice really was revolutionary. I left shortly thereafter, saying I had voice lessons (dismissing the fact they didn't start for another half hour) and breathed a sigh of relief.

But that's what politicians are supposed to do right? Like everybody, smile a lot, have everybody like them so you can get their votes. I don't have a problem with that, I really don't. So I proceeded the friendship with that in mind.

So Eeections have come and gone (he won) and though the email messages have slowed down, they're still there. I don't think he's flirting or interested (there's an eight-year age difference between us and vastly different belief systems as far as I can tell) but it made me start to think, how in the world can you tell if someone who is a politician or has a politician like personality is really interested in you or just "doing their job?" They HAVE to like everybody, so when do you know when it's different with you? Have you ever been in this situation (in either position?) What did you do and how did it turn out?

I'm BACK!

Sun, 26 Apr 2009 20:44:49 GMT

Ok guys, I know it's been way to long since I blogged! Months have gone by, but I'm back in the game (at least for now.) Keep an eye out for some upcoming posts that have been brewing in my mind for the past while!

Would You Be With Someone Who Had A "Physical Handicap?"

Fri, 09 Jan 2009 13:18:43 GMT

The couple was excitedly discussing their baby that was due to be born in a few months. The husband and wife had been married for years but the wife had only just been able to get pregnant. However the topic they were discussing wasn't whether the child was a boy or girl, it was whether the child was going to be deaf or hearing. See the wife was hearing, while the husband was deaf.

This combination made me start thinking. I'm a sign language interpreter and love being involved in the deaf community, and people have asked me from time to time if I would consider being with a man who was deaf.

My answer? I don't see a problem with it. My only hesitation is that I'm also a music major and music is one of the "loves" of my life. I can't imagine having a life not being able to completely share that with someone. Other than that though, I would not have a problem marrying a deaf man. I've seen some of the struggles involved in this by watching a few couples around me and though in some areas it would be difficult, I'm comfortable enough in the language that I think we'd just have the same problems as any other relationship, just maybe shown in different ways.

What about you? Have you ever seen or been involved in a couple like this?

What about other things people call "physical handicaps?" Would you be with someone who was deaf? blind? had a physical deformity?

Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Wed, 31 Dec 2008 17:03:17 GMT

"No I won't go out with you.... Now what?"

Wed, 24 Dec 2008 01:54:01 GMT

"So yeh... ummm.... wanna start going out? Like together? Date?"

My mind stopped and started as I recovered from complete shock. The guy was really cool... but not someone I could see myself working with long term. So I said no and explained why and he accepted that.

But what now? I explained I didn't believe in dating "for the fun of it" and it was obvious he and I wouldn't work together as a couple (because of beliefs and lifestyles and what-not) but as friends we're awesome. He's been a little more reserved though than he was before and I'm just wondering how I'm supposed to act to make him more comfortable. I asked some of my guy friends about it and they were like "Well yeh it'd be a little awkward but I'd still hang out with a girl who turned me down if she was a good enough friend before hand." But then again a lot of things are easier said than done. Should I wait for him to make the first move to hang out again? Or should I instigate the next invite to get together?

Guys do you feel awkward when the girl who has turned you down still wants to hang out?

Girls, how do you act towards a guy you just turned down?

Broke Up Because of Religion - But Still In Love

Sun, 14 Dec 2008 00:38:50 GMT

"I love him... but I won't compromise."

My heart broke for my friend, but my respect for her grew as well. Last year she dated a mutual friend of ours only for a month, but it was long enough for her to fall head over heels in love. The problem? She's christian, he's mormon. And she realized she couldn't live with that and broke off the relationship a month into it.

The problem, is now it's a full year later. He's moved on and is dating someone else. She on the other hand is still hopelessly in love with him. Everything else fit between the two of them, except religion. I for one grew up in a split religion home and it wasn't cool. I praised her for making that choice to split up even though she sincerely didn't want to. But she can't move on with anyone else either.

They're still friends though, which is something I questioned her about. She said she wants to win him to Christianity first and foremost, then maybe date him later. I understand she cares about him and wants to see him in church, but the fact she still wants to date him makes me cautious to encourage their friendship. I think she's just hurting herself even more and will find it even harder to move on with someone else with those ties still so strongly attached.

What would you do in this situation?

Would you break up with someone solely because of religious reasons?

(Note: This is not intended to be a debate about christianity/mormonism/any other type of religion. Please do not make it into one.)